Mom and Dad have dusted off the For Sale sign from last year and re-planted it in the front yard. I think we really will move this time. I’d actually like to. Dad’s commute will only get worse and it’ll be easier to find a job if I’m already in town. But it started me thinking about all the crap I’ve accumulated over the past 13 years in this house. I don’t want to be weighed down by stuff. I filled a bag with the majority of my stuffed animals to give to Goodwill. I would so much rather give them away while they can still be fun for other kids, than find their sad, yellowed faces staring at me from a clean plastic box in forty years while cleaning out a storage unit.
I went to look at real estate with Mom and Dad today. It’s hard to say whether or not we’ll actually actually be moving given all the false starts last year, but I don’t really care either way. Mom introduced me as the daughter that would be staying with them for a year at most. She hadn’t told me that, but it’s true. I don’t think I’ll be staying with them much longer than that. Of course, I haven’t gotten a job yet, so I could still disappoint both of us. I don’t really care if we move, because I’ll probably be moving anyway. It’s just a question of whether or not I’ll be moving twice.
I played tennis today, and yet, that wasn’t how I twisted my ankle. No, I twisted my ankle walking to my car. I collapsed onto the blacktop like a silent actress that had just been informed by the sepia text that her lover had just been murdered by his brother. Only instead of weeping beatific tears, I swore to an empty parking lot.
Only one person showed up at the open house yesterday. But she seemed seriously interested.
It may have been a mistake to walk four miles on a swollen foot.
The owner of the condo countered Mom and Dad’s offer. It’s further than they got last time, so I’m getting excited about the idea of moving. I’ve decided to embrace change, a lot like I decided too when I was six and we moved the first time. Any change can be good, and I’m going to make the most of it.
There are only two parking spots for the flat, so mom was going to sell her car. But I talked her into giving it to me, so I can sell my car instead. That way there will still be one four wheel drive for snow days or going antiquing. Besides, being in town will help me with the job hunt.
I was six the last time we moved. We followed the moving trucks ten minutes down the road, effectively leaving (to my mind) everything I ever knew. It was a much more dramatic experience. Not because I resisted it, but because it wasn’t a trip I could take on my own steam. Like everything else for a kid, it was reliant on my parents.
That disconcerting feeling when you’re standing in a room you entered for some mysterious purpose you just can’t remember. Maybe you were looking for someone, or you lost your keys, just a second ago. But you lost your train of thought. That has a link to crossing thresholds. There’s an evolutionary theory that short term memory loss after crossing a threshold goes back to caveman times. When leaving one area, you’ll need different tools. When leaving one house, you’ll need different tools. Reboot to factory settings.
I think I’m doing better because I’m no longer resisting the reboot. I’m more open to change.
Around mile three of our walk, Mom got a call. Potential renters would be at our house in less than 30 minutes.
I’m sitting by the pool, unshowered, no makeup, in my work out clothes, and with my swollen foot sensibly cushioned in a tennis shoe. I haven’t shaved my legs in days. And yet, I feel better about myself than I would have had I showered and put on a bikini. I wish I had brought my book, but hey. I rushed home to make up my bed and take out my trash before peeling off in my new old Land Rover. I didn’t even have a destination in mind when I left.
The sole umbrella out here is folded up and guarded by two old shirtless men. So I’m going to slowly bake in direct sunlight rather than go over there.
I’ve had “yes sir, that’s my baby” running through my head since last night. Virginia got free tickets to a showing of Back to the Future at the Fox, which was part of a celebration of, I think, the anniversary of the Fox being preserved. The original elaborate organ that was used to play along with silent movies had been dragged out in front of the stage, and a friendly old man conducted a sing along with pieces from the area before the movie.
I ordered a pizza for 1, which I’ve never done before. I’m also looking forward to it. I’ve gotta get a job.
We went to look at the condo again today. That makes only two times that I’ve seen it. I like it, more than the first time I think. There are a few problem areas, but it wouldn’t be a Jacob family home if there were no looming projects. There’s a sink in my room. It leads to the bathroom, but still, it’s just out there. In the open. I’m going to use it like I use my vanity. Maybe I can make it look more a piece of furniture. There’s gross carpet on one of the outside balconies, for some indeterminable reason. My theory is that the stone underneath it is damaged and they didn’t want to deal with fixing it. There are a handful of small issues, most of which can fixed with a coat of paint. Overall, I think we’re all feeling pretty positive about things. Aside from my sister, who isn’t looking forward to dealing with her childhood toys. But she would have to eventually anyway. No one feels bad for her.
I sold my car today for a pittance. Cars depreciate like crazy, but on top of that, the mileage had been written down wrong on the title, leaded to the inspector marking the odometer as rolled back. I’m not sure how much that cost me, but I know it was an issue.
We will have spent 13 years with a tile turned the wrong way around in the laundry room. It bothered me when I was 6, and it bothers me now. It throws off the whole pattern (as seventies and ugly as it is) and frankly, I don’t understand how it happens.
I think I made a tactical error. When the buyers went to sign the contract with Mom and Dad, I swerved at the doorway rather than walking in. I didn’t want to hover. But that just means that I met them at the door, smiled weirdly a lot, then left without saying anything.
We sold our house today. And by we, I mean Mom and Dad and not me at all.
I dreamed about moving. We were sitting around eating the frozen food we didn’t want to take with us and talking about different types of rush hour traffic we would never have to see again.
I dreamed about moving again. I packed up lamps, worrying about the light bulbs.