If You Give Leila The Sharpie

If you draw an arrow on a For Sale sign, Leila might ask for ask for the Sharpie.

If you give Leila the sharpie, she might use it up trying to fill in the large arrow she drew.

If she used up the sharpie, she might have to get some more.

If she dumps nine Sharpies on the floor and none of them work she may say, “screw this”, and get her paint.

If she gets her paint she will realize it has yet again dried shut.

If it has dried shut she will run it under hot water and use a rag to get it open, in that certain way that always works.

If she opens the paint with a practiced hand she will feel proud of herself, and like an artist.

If she feels like an artist she will try to use tools to make the arrow straight and perfect.

If she uses that piece of cardboard she feels so smug for thinking of, her perfectly straight lines will be ruined every time she moves it or picks it up.

If her lines aren’t straight she will sit there for what might feel like a year, straightening them.

If she sits there straightening the lines she will remember she has to do the other side.

If she remembers she also has to do the other side, she will give up on the first side because it’s taking too much time.

If she gives up on the first side, she will sit on the stairs waiting for it to dry.

If she sits on the stairs waiting for the first side to dry she will re-evaluate her choices and wish she had just left you alone with the Sharpie arrow you were already drawing.

If she realizes how much time she’s just wasted she’ll paint the arrow more quickly on the next side.

If she paints a quick arrow on the next side, you’ll actually get the sign up before dinner.

If you get the sign up before dinner, she’ll take a quick picture of it for her blog.


Next time though, she should really leave the Sharpie alone.


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